END OF INDEX

Think You Know Everything?

1.  Rubberbands last longer when refrigerated.

2.  Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

3.  There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

4.  The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

5.  The shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

6.  There are more chickens than people in the world.

7.  Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

8.  The longest one-syllable word in the English language
is "screeched."

9.  On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the
Parliament building is an American flag.

10.  All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on
4:20.

11.  No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange,
silver, or purple.

12.  "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the
letters "mt".

13.  All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln
Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

14. Almonds are a member of the peach family.

15.  Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a
dance.

16.  Maine is the only state (in USA) whose name is just one
syllable.

17.  There are only four words in the English language which
end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and
hazardous.

18.  Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la
Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula"

19.  A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

20.  An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

21.  Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

22.  In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is
10:10.

23.  Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture
dealer.

24.  The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named
after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank
Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."

25.  A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

26.  A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

27.  A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

28.  It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

29.  The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

30.  In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to
speak.

31.  The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a
radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

32.  Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.

33.  The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

34.  There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

35.  "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only
the left hand.

NOW that you know everything... You could be a TEENAGER!!!

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was, "Don't". "Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve...we have forbidden fruit!"

"No way!" says Eve "Yes way!" says Adam

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. "Why?" Adam and Eve both ask.

"Because I am your father and I said so!" God replied, (wondering why he hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants).

A few minutes later, God saw his children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God, as our first parent, asked. "

Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you?" said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!" said Eve. "Did too!" "DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed!

But there is reassurance in this story.  If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. 

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

Advice for the day -- If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut--up.

Grandchildren are God's reward to you for not killing your children.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat everything word for word that you shouldn't have said.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

We child-proofed our home 3 years ago, but they're still getting in!

Anyway, be nice to your children, they'll probably choose your nursing home.

But the Binch, who lived Far East of Uville, did not. >

The Binch hated U.S! The whole U.S. way! >

Now don't ask me why, for nobody can say, >

It could be his turban was screwed on too tight. >

Or the sun from the desert had beaten too bright >

But I think that the most likely reason of all >

May have been that his heart was two sizes too small. > >

But, Whatever the reason, his heart or his turban, > He stood facing Uville, the part that was urban. > "They're doing their business," he snarled from his perch. > "They're raising their families! They're going to church! > They're leading the world, and their empire is thriving, > I MUST keep the S's and U's from surviving!" > > Tomorrow, he knew, all the U's and the S's, > Would put on their pants and their shirts and their dresses, > They'd go to their offices, playgrounds and schools, > And abide by their U and S values and rules, > And then they'd do something he liked least of all, > Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small, > Would stand all united, each U and each S, > And they'd sing Uville's anthem, "God bless us! God bless!" > All around their Twin Towers of Uville, they'd stand, > and their voices would drown every sound in the land. > > "I must stop that singing," Binch said with a smirk, > And he had an idea--an idea that might work! > The Binch stole some U airplanes in U morning hours, > And crashed them right into the Uville Twin Towers. > "They'll wake to disaster!" he snickered, so sour, > "And how can they sing when they can't find a tower?" > > The Binch cocked his ear as they woke from their sleeping, > All set to enjoy their U-wailing and weeping, > Instead he heard something that started quite low, > And it built up quite slow, but it started to grow-- > And the Binch heard the most unpredictable thing... > And he couldn't believe it--they started to sing! > > He stared down at U-ville, not trusting his eyes, > What he saw was a shocking, disgusting surprise! > Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small, > Was singing! Without any towers at all! > He HADN'T stopped U-Ville from singing! It sung! > For down deep in the hearts of the old and the young, > Those Twin Towers were standing, called Hope and called Pride, > And you can't smash the towers we hold deep inside. > > So we circle the sites where our heroes did fall, > With a hand in each hand of the tall and the small, > And we mourn for our losses while knowing we'll cope, > For we still have inside that U-Pride and U-Hope. > > For America means a bit more than tall towers, > It means more than wealth or political powers, > It's more than our enemies ever could guess, > So may God bless America! Bless us! God bless! > > Written by Paul Cook > Music Specialist, River's Edge Elementary